What a Shit!
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Ha-ha! Ok, everyone seems to be scared of gossip, I tell you, I am too, you know I truly dislike gossips, especially the short and lousy short girl that gossips, lol.
They say Linda Ikeji only gossips… well sometimes even National matters of many kinds falls under the gossip category, so in my personal opinion, I think everyone gossips.
Imagine the number of professional writers, presenters and even pastors that have used mama Peace’s “there is god ooo” in their conversations that is also gossip. Well, me I no dey gossip o…
Let’s come back to this big shit, I mean real shit o, “igbe”, “poo-poo”. I was at this conference for bloggers in Lagos, and let me first tell you this, that conference was a bam; it was a great one, believe it or not. I can tell you this, because I have attended conferences, meetings, lectures, seminars, for bankers, writers, pastors, etc. but this Bloggers’ Conference, I truly had fun, and added so much to my knowledge, though it’s the first time I will be attending such kind of seminar without being paid, anyway!
Hello! Well, I think the organizers spent a lot to organize the conference; I have to tell you this truthfully, using that kind of facility in an Ikeja area of Lagos is not cheap, plus the feeding and facilitators.
The facilitators were hmm- good, one guy from Google Nigeria, killed it all. I bet you ladies were all head over heels for this guy o, in spite the fact that the guy is a married man! Hmm.
And there was this very beautiful lady from an Internet Provider company, hmm, I could do anything to see her facilitate again. I understand she heads the marketing department of that company.
They say Linda Ikeji only gossips… well sometimes even National matters of many kinds falls under the gossip category, so in my personal opinion, I think everyone gossips.
Imagine the number of professional writers, presenters and even pastors that have used mama Peace’s “there is god ooo” in their conversations that is also gossip. Well, me I no dey gossip o…
Let’s come back to this big shit, I mean real shit o, “igbe”, “poo-poo”. I was at this conference for bloggers in Lagos, and let me first tell you this, that conference was a bam; it was a great one, believe it or not. I can tell you this, because I have attended conferences, meetings, lectures, seminars, for bankers, writers, pastors, etc. but this Bloggers’ Conference, I truly had fun, and added so much to my knowledge, though it’s the first time I will be attending such kind of seminar without being paid, anyway!
Hello! Well, I think the organizers spent a lot to organize the conference; I have to tell you this truthfully, using that kind of facility in an Ikeja area of Lagos is not cheap, plus the feeding and facilitators.
The facilitators were hmm- good, one guy from Google Nigeria, killed it all. I bet you ladies were all head over heels for this guy o, in spite the fact that the guy is a married man! Hmm.
And there was this very beautiful lady from an Internet Provider company, hmm, I could do anything to see her facilitate again. I understand she heads the marketing department of that company.
Smile Even When You Don’t Want to…
Funny! I haven’t met any beautiful writer, except maybe Chimamanda, I think she’s cute. Hey I am cool too.
Well, I often hear people say Linda Ikeji is so ugly, is she really ugly? I tripped so badly for that babe and believe it or not I used her picture as my BB profile picture for several days! LOL
Back to what I was saying, so in this very classic facility, I was very pressed to my bladder, and needed to use the gents. Let me tell you another secret, I hate using public gents, I could keep my pee for over six hours just to avoid using a pub, no matter how neat the environment is, especially when you have about 350 participants, ah!
It reminds me of my late Uncle- Professor Gana, he was in my house several years ago before his death and he wanted to use our toilet, (let me say here, I am the one who washes the toilet in my house, and remember I hate dirty things), after using the toilet, late professor told me, “I have been to many houses; ministers, ambassadors, but in most houses, their toilets are the worst place”
Even though he did not directly praise me for keeping our toilet clean, I knew he was a bit comfortable with using our toilet.
And after several minutes of thoughts I decided to go try the pub at the conference venue, even before reaching the pub, I could see two ladies waiting outside, they had on the uniform of a telecoms company, and the look on their faces shows that something was wrong, one squeezed her nose such that you would know even from distance that something was terribly wrong.
I wanted to go back inside the conference hall, but I was too pressed to go back, as I approached the pub, one of the ladies stepped back for me.
There are four toilets at the pub, two for male and two for female, I noticed no one was inside the female toilets, but the ladies choose to ignore it, one of them quickly dashed into one of the male toilets, I checked the second male toilet and noticed that one was locked from behind, that means there was someone inside.
The other lady was still standing outside, obviously not speaking because of the stink coming from the toilets. I went into one of the female toilets; you don’t want me to describe what I saw…( Readers’ discretion strongly advised).
Big shit- filled up to the brim of the WC, my God! I jump out of the toilet not bothering to check the second female toilet, by then, the guy in other male toilet was out. I looked thoroughly at him, wondering why he spent so much time in the toilet.
I felt since he used the toilet that long, it should be okay, lo and behold, I opened the toilet door and my God! I quickly jumped out” I almost had a running stomach immediately; the smell was terrible even before I stole a look at the deposited shit that was filled up in the WC. I am not still sure if that guy deposited the whole of that, or if he met some in it, what baffles me is how he managed to use the toilet. As I went out, the guy was still outside pressing at the buttons of his phone, and I wondered how he was still able to wait there after depositing such a large treasure!
If you see this guy I am talking about you will be shocked, you won’t expect such a slim person to pass such a big shit!
I later learnt that the management of the facility had to bring in plumbers to fix the shit, because the whole thing was filled with shits!
Gaddamn!
Well, I often hear people say Linda Ikeji is so ugly, is she really ugly? I tripped so badly for that babe and believe it or not I used her picture as my BB profile picture for several days! LOL
Back to what I was saying, so in this very classic facility, I was very pressed to my bladder, and needed to use the gents. Let me tell you another secret, I hate using public gents, I could keep my pee for over six hours just to avoid using a pub, no matter how neat the environment is, especially when you have about 350 participants, ah!
It reminds me of my late Uncle- Professor Gana, he was in my house several years ago before his death and he wanted to use our toilet, (let me say here, I am the one who washes the toilet in my house, and remember I hate dirty things), after using the toilet, late professor told me, “I have been to many houses; ministers, ambassadors, but in most houses, their toilets are the worst place”
Even though he did not directly praise me for keeping our toilet clean, I knew he was a bit comfortable with using our toilet.
And after several minutes of thoughts I decided to go try the pub at the conference venue, even before reaching the pub, I could see two ladies waiting outside, they had on the uniform of a telecoms company, and the look on their faces shows that something was wrong, one squeezed her nose such that you would know even from distance that something was terribly wrong.
I wanted to go back inside the conference hall, but I was too pressed to go back, as I approached the pub, one of the ladies stepped back for me.
There are four toilets at the pub, two for male and two for female, I noticed no one was inside the female toilets, but the ladies choose to ignore it, one of them quickly dashed into one of the male toilets, I checked the second male toilet and noticed that one was locked from behind, that means there was someone inside.
The other lady was still standing outside, obviously not speaking because of the stink coming from the toilets. I went into one of the female toilets; you don’t want me to describe what I saw…( Readers’ discretion strongly advised).
Big shit- filled up to the brim of the WC, my God! I jump out of the toilet not bothering to check the second female toilet, by then, the guy in other male toilet was out. I looked thoroughly at him, wondering why he spent so much time in the toilet.
I felt since he used the toilet that long, it should be okay, lo and behold, I opened the toilet door and my God! I quickly jumped out” I almost had a running stomach immediately; the smell was terrible even before I stole a look at the deposited shit that was filled up in the WC. I am not still sure if that guy deposited the whole of that, or if he met some in it, what baffles me is how he managed to use the toilet. As I went out, the guy was still outside pressing at the buttons of his phone, and I wondered how he was still able to wait there after depositing such a large treasure!
If you see this guy I am talking about you will be shocked, you won’t expect such a slim person to pass such a big shit!
I later learnt that the management of the facility had to bring in plumbers to fix the shit, because the whole thing was filled with shits!
Gaddamn!
How I got My Best Phone: #JumiaMobileWeek #WABCLagos2015
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Want updates via;
BB: 2ABE9468
WhatsApp: +2348034463786
To Advertise on our platforms;
Please call: +2348088538618, E-mail: admin@ackcity.net
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